capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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