And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
third nipple confirmed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
