threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
be right there i have to get my cape
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
