never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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