And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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