there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
