dude i'm inner monologue high
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
