apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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