Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize