Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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