so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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