Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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