We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
