He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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