Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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