maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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