There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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