wat bout pragnant strippers??
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
