this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
