This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
