She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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