You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
