i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize