he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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