covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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