They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
