your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
