think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize