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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
