how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
