Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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