we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
