If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
