we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
