just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
