my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
