with your own penis?
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
