I met the friendliest cop last night
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's even glitter on my cock...
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