I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
