I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
