real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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