it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
