Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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