alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
