so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
