You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize