I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
