i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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