I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
