this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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