Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
