maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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