I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
