I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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