i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
