Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize