We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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