Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
