that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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