Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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