If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're using joints as your birthday candles
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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