Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
