It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
