Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize