his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
