so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize