I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
