Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize