if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
