question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
