I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
