Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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