We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
