DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize