thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
