The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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