3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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