There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
