Having a random hookup so left but love u
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
