The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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