Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
