Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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