So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
God I need to hump something, right now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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