Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
