I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
